i feel pathetic writing this but who cares

i feel so lonely. 
i dont want to sound like a desperate cunt.
but i haven’t had a boyfriend in over a year and i feel like in the space i haven’t even had a “thing” with anyone. it feels like i am just going to be alone forever crushing on boys that are in happy relationships that think of me as friends and obviously would never like me. 

i just want someone.
someone that sends me cute messages in the morning when i wake up and before i go to bed at night. someone that will come and sleep over and watch heaps of movies and talk shit all night whilst eating copious amounts of junkfood.
i want a boy to snuggle and to kiss whenever i feel like it.
i want someone to spoil
i used to love buying things for my ex. telling him to come over so i could cook him a nice dinner. making him laugh and then having play fights on the bed that end up in kissing and cuddling.

i am just sick of being alone.
i just want to find that one special person.
i feel like he’s never going to come :(